At that time still praying the Lord to give me address and show me the steps to follow. In
the meantime I decided to enroll in the career of administrative file and when I went to the
enrollment office the papers disappeared, so I did not understand that God had other
purposes, but I thought that I should then enroll in master's degree in history. And so I did,
but these were not God's plans for my life. And I started the classes but I only attended
three lessons because I began to feel severe headaches not allowed me to continue. And it
was that God was using the circumstances to speak to me and show me His true Will.
My headaches were consequences of hormonal disorder product of hyperthyroidism, which
later was treated and healed by God.
And now I was passing a gate that God opened to me due to my circumstances and
headaches. The door I opened to understand and follow the path of His call to serve with
the injured sheep.
A psychiatrist referred me to make some medical examinations but I should stay in the
psychiatric unit in the Hospital, so I did not like the idea, but the pain was bigger and I
accepted.
19
And there, up to date, I was shocked, because I will never forget what God made me and
spoke to me in that place where I was seven days in September 1995.
I arrived there with a Christian book to "entertain me", some paper sheets, a pen and a
humble cassette that had made for the people who suffer. These were my first attempts of
Minister and be servant of the Lord for the wounded of the soul, but I was too injured
and…, in that place!
There I could see women who had tried to commit suicide, young traumatized girls who
were raped, and a woman in an absolute denial of her life. Another woman carrying a big
pain for the loss of a loved one. Yes, there I saw to the afflicted, the captives, and the
prisoners from the prison in the book of Isaiah (61: 1)
But I also saw what I feared most at that moment: a wild-eyed woman who invoked Satan
while the sick were frightened. Oh, Lord! How strong and shocking you were with me!
Because really struck me and what I did was to write verses for every sick and make them
heard the cassette that had recorded. It was very impressive to see how the sick raised
hands while hearing Christian music and it message, while they were still in their beds.
They were not allowed to listen to Christian messages but my Walkman was a great
instrument and when the sick raised hands to heaven was not surprising for the nurses
because they were accustomed to unusual manifestations. They did not know that God was
operating and freeing the captive in that Psychiatry unit. The value and power of the Word
of God in these people with suicide attempts made me see how operates the Word of God
bringing new life and hope.
So I came out from there convinced that it was my call, ready to go to serve but I was even
more frightened and traumatized than before entering this place, because what I saw I
20
would never forget. But I knew what to do. I would run where the injured sheep was and
would take her the message.
But God stopped me because I should first enroll and attend heavenly classrooms. I should
see within me and face the Goliath of my life: my own traumas.
God made me understand the need to write to the oppressed, the captives, and the afflicted.
And so wound and traumatized since my childhood, I bragged I didn´t need psychologists.
The concept of psychological and psychiatric patients were only "crazy" had changed
forever in my life.
But they were sick... Not me! Because I had been called to the Ministry! How fooled and
arrogant I was! I had a lot to learn for the next years of my calling to serve God, because
actually He had chosen someone to glorify Him in her weakness.
During this time of calling, the Lord showed me the coverage of this Ministry at the Latin
American region, but at that time I could not understand. Before my visits to the Psychiatry
Unit I had sent an oil painting to New York. I wanted to know if there would be an
opportunity to sell any in an Art Gallery of this great city, but God who is in control of
everything, made something bigger and showed off His power.
I did not have a degree in the area of painting. I had studied architecture and painted by
economic necessity. He gave me the second place in the parade of Hispanic Heritage in
New York City in an exhibition group that brought together painters from different
countries of Latin America.
And there I was, with only a painting, without plans or dreams remote participate in this
event and now got the second place. And at a Latin-American level.
21
And this whole process occurred at the same time in September 1995: The call; what to do
and the coverage of the Ministry. But I still did not understand only knew that something
was trying God to do with my life.
So I was too shocked by my experience at the place of the afflicted and the prison of souls
and also the impact of receiving an international award that never expected.
The adrenaline was flowing throughout my being. I wanted to rest most than everything
and things were becoming harder because Gad then began to take me to His heavenly
classrooms.
And in all this confusion, images of the Psychiatry Unit, I receive an award by the Minister
of Culture of Costa Rica due to the award in New York; all these made me feel tired at the
emotional level.
And then influenced by my "old creature" I began to serve God in the Ministry of praise.
And it is that God always speaks clearly, because "his ways are not our ways", but often
allow ourselves to be carried away by the customs of our worldly life.
And at that time I could not find the peace of God because I had two young children to
attend and anyone to take care of them, while serving. Then worsened my conflicts because
I wanted to serve, I rather felt that I should do so, but my family duties prevented me from.
So my conflicts worsened
And it was then that I started to visit a psychologist. That was ironical: I was visiting a
psychologist while singing messages of peace and restoration. I made me call in my
sessions "the women Ministry" because I knew that my internal problems were produced
by the Ministry that could not leave but at the same time should do so, because other
responsibilities were waiting for me with my family.
22
And I who had said yes to the Lord in the Ministry of restoration and I said that I didn't
need psychiatrists or psychologists, I am now in praise and attending appointments with
psychologist; it seemed that much or something was not well in my spiritual and emotional
life. Anyway, everything was twisted because what God does is to shake your life and your
person.
I compare this process with a stream that looks pristine in appearance, but once removed
the bottom begin to appear glasses, cans and garbage that pollute. This process is necessary
so one day would become "rivers of living water".
The obligation to attend to my children and at the same time serve God caused me conflict
because I could not establish priorities, because if the Bible says, "Love God above all
things" you should serve Him first even though I have to set aside other obligations.
And in real life it is true. We must love God above all things, but that does not mean that
we abandon our responsibilities.
This is a conflict that crosses many servants of God because they know that God is the first
but mixed up priorities, leaving aside the obligations of work or family needed to have a
harmonious home and all the needs satisfied.
I felt that if I failed to serve God He was going to be upset of me. Sometimes I felt that I
was going to crush the sky. What a mess was my mind and heart! But God would use it for
this Ministry.
Sometimes I used to feel the sky coming over me and it was because I continued with the
inappropriate image of God. I was serving God by fear, not love.
But I felt a special call for the injured sheep, because I identified myself with the pain of
the people who suffer at emotional level, and of course; I had much credit in this field,
because of my painful experiences of the past. So that day in a cult when I offered my letter
23
to God and said: make me servant of the injured sheep, He heard my prayer, closed me the
doors in the Ministry of praise and sent me to His heavenly classrooms.
the meantime I decided to enroll in the career of administrative file and when I went to the
enrollment office the papers disappeared, so I did not understand that God had other
purposes, but I thought that I should then enroll in master's degree in history. And so I did,
but these were not God's plans for my life. And I started the classes but I only attended
three lessons because I began to feel severe headaches not allowed me to continue. And it
was that God was using the circumstances to speak to me and show me His true Will.
My headaches were consequences of hormonal disorder product of hyperthyroidism, which
later was treated and healed by God.
And now I was passing a gate that God opened to me due to my circumstances and
headaches. The door I opened to understand and follow the path of His call to serve with
the injured sheep.
A psychiatrist referred me to make some medical examinations but I should stay in the
psychiatric unit in the Hospital, so I did not like the idea, but the pain was bigger and I
accepted.
19
And there, up to date, I was shocked, because I will never forget what God made me and
spoke to me in that place where I was seven days in September 1995.
I arrived there with a Christian book to "entertain me", some paper sheets, a pen and a
humble cassette that had made for the people who suffer. These were my first attempts of
Minister and be servant of the Lord for the wounded of the soul, but I was too injured
and…, in that place!
There I could see women who had tried to commit suicide, young traumatized girls who
were raped, and a woman in an absolute denial of her life. Another woman carrying a big
pain for the loss of a loved one. Yes, there I saw to the afflicted, the captives, and the
prisoners from the prison in the book of Isaiah (61: 1)
But I also saw what I feared most at that moment: a wild-eyed woman who invoked Satan
while the sick were frightened. Oh, Lord! How strong and shocking you were with me!
Because really struck me and what I did was to write verses for every sick and make them
heard the cassette that had recorded. It was very impressive to see how the sick raised
hands while hearing Christian music and it message, while they were still in their beds.
They were not allowed to listen to Christian messages but my Walkman was a great
instrument and when the sick raised hands to heaven was not surprising for the nurses
because they were accustomed to unusual manifestations. They did not know that God was
operating and freeing the captive in that Psychiatry unit. The value and power of the Word
of God in these people with suicide attempts made me see how operates the Word of God
bringing new life and hope.
So I came out from there convinced that it was my call, ready to go to serve but I was even
more frightened and traumatized than before entering this place, because what I saw I
20
would never forget. But I knew what to do. I would run where the injured sheep was and
would take her the message.
But God stopped me because I should first enroll and attend heavenly classrooms. I should
see within me and face the Goliath of my life: my own traumas.
God made me understand the need to write to the oppressed, the captives, and the afflicted.
And so wound and traumatized since my childhood, I bragged I didn´t need psychologists.
The concept of psychological and psychiatric patients were only "crazy" had changed
forever in my life.
But they were sick... Not me! Because I had been called to the Ministry! How fooled and
arrogant I was! I had a lot to learn for the next years of my calling to serve God, because
actually He had chosen someone to glorify Him in her weakness.
During this time of calling, the Lord showed me the coverage of this Ministry at the Latin
American region, but at that time I could not understand. Before my visits to the Psychiatry
Unit I had sent an oil painting to New York. I wanted to know if there would be an
opportunity to sell any in an Art Gallery of this great city, but God who is in control of
everything, made something bigger and showed off His power.
I did not have a degree in the area of painting. I had studied architecture and painted by
economic necessity. He gave me the second place in the parade of Hispanic Heritage in
New York City in an exhibition group that brought together painters from different
countries of Latin America.
And there I was, with only a painting, without plans or dreams remote participate in this
event and now got the second place. And at a Latin-American level.
21
And this whole process occurred at the same time in September 1995: The call; what to do
and the coverage of the Ministry. But I still did not understand only knew that something
was trying God to do with my life.
So I was too shocked by my experience at the place of the afflicted and the prison of souls
and also the impact of receiving an international award that never expected.
The adrenaline was flowing throughout my being. I wanted to rest most than everything
and things were becoming harder because Gad then began to take me to His heavenly
classrooms.
And in all this confusion, images of the Psychiatry Unit, I receive an award by the Minister
of Culture of Costa Rica due to the award in New York; all these made me feel tired at the
emotional level.
And then influenced by my "old creature" I began to serve God in the Ministry of praise.
And it is that God always speaks clearly, because "his ways are not our ways", but often
allow ourselves to be carried away by the customs of our worldly life.
And at that time I could not find the peace of God because I had two young children to
attend and anyone to take care of them, while serving. Then worsened my conflicts because
I wanted to serve, I rather felt that I should do so, but my family duties prevented me from.
So my conflicts worsened
And it was then that I started to visit a psychologist. That was ironical: I was visiting a
psychologist while singing messages of peace and restoration. I made me call in my
sessions "the women Ministry" because I knew that my internal problems were produced
by the Ministry that could not leave but at the same time should do so, because other
responsibilities were waiting for me with my family.
22
And I who had said yes to the Lord in the Ministry of restoration and I said that I didn't
need psychiatrists or psychologists, I am now in praise and attending appointments with
psychologist; it seemed that much or something was not well in my spiritual and emotional
life. Anyway, everything was twisted because what God does is to shake your life and your
person.
I compare this process with a stream that looks pristine in appearance, but once removed
the bottom begin to appear glasses, cans and garbage that pollute. This process is necessary
so one day would become "rivers of living water".
The obligation to attend to my children and at the same time serve God caused me conflict
because I could not establish priorities, because if the Bible says, "Love God above all
things" you should serve Him first even though I have to set aside other obligations.
And in real life it is true. We must love God above all things, but that does not mean that
we abandon our responsibilities.
This is a conflict that crosses many servants of God because they know that God is the first
but mixed up priorities, leaving aside the obligations of work or family needed to have a
harmonious home and all the needs satisfied.
I felt that if I failed to serve God He was going to be upset of me. Sometimes I felt that I
was going to crush the sky. What a mess was my mind and heart! But God would use it for
this Ministry.
Sometimes I used to feel the sky coming over me and it was because I continued with the
inappropriate image of God. I was serving God by fear, not love.
But I felt a special call for the injured sheep, because I identified myself with the pain of
the people who suffer at emotional level, and of course; I had much credit in this field,
because of my painful experiences of the past. So that day in a cult when I offered my letter
23
to God and said: make me servant of the injured sheep, He heard my prayer, closed me the
doors in the Ministry of praise and sent me to His heavenly classrooms.
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